happi look is juz an expression on the face.. emptiness in the soul is a place where people always overlook it..

i have changed i guess..
been avoiding ppl..
ppl i noe..
wat am i doing?
i dun noe..
i cant even face myself.. how can i let other ppl face me..
good thing abt work is tat.. im so bz even to think abt myself..
time flies damn fast during work..
but i aso change from a beri noisy person to a beri quiet person..
i prefer this way ba..
to hear..
to listen..
to feel with ur soul within..
i onli start feeling sad after work.. on my way home..
the sadness in my soul. in my heart.. is unbearable..
i dunoe y..

i tot my heart is numb liao.. for such a long time..
i alreadi forget the feelings of my heart for so long liao.. more than 1 yr liao..
but dunoe y suddenly..
my heart feel so aching now..
so painful..

written a msg to myself on the way home..
"suddenly feel so sad.. can you be the one who listen to how i feel? i feel so lousi.. so fragile.. strong on the outside? happines shown on my face? empty inside.. i dun always haf to act strong de.. but who can let me lean on when im not strong? being single is not to fanatsize over having prince charming sweeping you off your feet.. but is you have not meet someone that u can show him the weakest side of urself.. and let him protect u..
to my family.. they think tat im a naive ger who is looking for a fairy tale romance with a handsome prince charming..
to my frenz.. they think that i juz not satisfied with anyone..
but the true fact..?
is not i naive.. is not i unsatisfied with anyone.. but the fact that noone yet have shown me that i can rely on him.. noone has shown me that he will protect me.. so i haf no choice but to b strong.. its not bcoz i wan to.. but im force to..who will wish to b single?? who will wish not to have someone to love?? who will wish not to b love by someone?? i think noone did..
i didnt close the door of not having a bf.. its onli tat noone has tried going thru the door.. words r empty with no actions..
dun say u love someone when u nv do any actions.. juz saying the 3 words doesnt mean that u will get her.. dun sae anything without sincerity.. its more hurting than not saying the 3 words.. dun sae u love someone.. and after saying tat.. u sae "juz kidding" nia to hide away ur shyness.. its hurt the ger more than u think it is.. even if she love u the way u love her.. dun even say u will be the best bf i even had wen u r not even trying hard to make me blieve tat u love me.. dun sae words tat r empty.. actions alway speaks louder tahn words but who will even show me tat?? think noone perhap.. thats the reason y i dun wan to get into a relationship.. its bcoz noone has even tried walkin towards the door.. noone has make me feel loved.."
damn long.. a msg to myself..

dun sae u trust someone when u keep questioning the someone..
its aso feel damn hurting wen u urself noe tat u r not trusted even though someone sae that he/she trust u..

caught a crazy girl on 12:22 AM.