nv feel so sad..
de sadness with me for so long..
oya. mayb nt tat long la..
coz de last few weeks is angry n pissed..
now is sad n sad n sad..

feel so dwn..
is like everything keep crashing dwn..
tears keep wanting to make thier appearance on my face..
mom's screaming.. incooperative grpmate.. stupid dateline.. stressful period.. slpless nite.. wat more can i ask for rite?? or mayb i could ask for more like more slpless nite.. more stressful feelings.. more unhappiness.. more tears..

my mood is bad.. i noe.. juz a small hit to me and i feel like de world is faling dwn. tears starting to fill up my eyes.. im hurt.. im realli am..
every small thing is a big issue to me.. blow me off my guard n leave me feeling so useless n hopeless.

in schl. im trying to be happi.. so i keep doing stupid things in a way to keep myself happi.. at the same time.. entertain my frenz..
doing proj.. wenever we need to do research on this n tat.. or haf doubt abt this n tat.. my grpmate will surely sae things like.. "i dun think we need this", "you dun need to put this in the proj", "we dun need to do until so complicated" den y in the first place u keep saying negative thing abt having low marks for de proj wen u dun ever wan to try.. looking at him rite now.. bring sadness to myself, instead of being angry..

at home.. 2nd day in a row le.. my mom n me screaming at each other..
shooting each other with our hurtful words..
not many ppl can make me cry..but my mom can do it everytime.. a quarrel, an arguement with her can make my tears flow out from the eyes without me wanting to..
guess now.. i feeling damn bad.. mood damn low.. n yesh. i juz end an arguement with her.. n u noe how we stop de arguement?? is bcoz my dad sae enough le.. otherwise de arguement will carry on..
i regret.. i realli regret something..
y i so tupid.. wanting to go home early yesterdae.. y cant i juz go out n haf fun.. at least the things wont happen at home making me more sad den b4..
y i so tupid.. y?? i shld haf gone out yesterdae n haf fun.. i shld juz ignore my pain n discomfort n go out..
but instead.. i choose to go home early yesterdae coz my back is giving me lotsa problems.. and i feeling tired.. emotionally.. mentally.. physically.. tired from inside out..outside in..

as expected.. my tears keep flowing out... i already try my best to keep it in my eyes..
but..
im not trying to be strong or wat by trying my best not to cry..
i juz dun wan to haf a bloodshot eyes coz i will b going out later..

i tried to be happi.. i tried to make myself happi n carefree like b4..
but... things will nv be de same again..
de sadness.. de pain.. everything is my new phrase of life..
de new phrase of life does not include happiness n carefreeness le..
i noe there are ppl who cares for me..
i noe..
like to thanx whoever cares for me..
but..
im juz someone who dun deserve all de care n concern..
im sorri..

caught a crazy girl on 5:23 PM.